Nelson & His World

Discussion on the life and times of Admiral Lord Nelson
It is currently Fri Mar 29, 2024 1:43 pm

All times are UTC [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 5 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Nelson limericks
PostPosted: Thu Apr 30, 2009 8:17 pm 
Offline

Joined: Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:40 pm
Posts: 1088
I'm not an avid watcher of The One Show on BBC1 but I happened to see it tonight.

It seems they had been running a limerick competition on their website to coincide with the election of the new poet laureate.

The limerick ajudged to be in second place had a Nelson theme and went as follows:

Quote:
"Kiss me Hardy," cried Nelson. "I'm shot.
I'm a goner as likely as not.
Like my ship, I'm a wreck...
Keep your hands on the deck,
Sir! Stop kissing my sensitive spot!"


I took a look on the website and at least another four Nelson limericks had been submitted.

Here goes - get ready to cringe!!

Quote:
When Horatio first fought the French
To Hardy he said, "what's that stench"?
It's garlic m'Lord
Nelson said, "Oh my gawd,
oh please kiss me, I'm missing my wench"


Quote:
We've Nelson to thank and his navy
he fought for us so bravely
today in Trafalgar he stands
miles from the sea and the sands
keeping his eye out for Hardy!


Quote:
Lord Nelson was under much stress
For the king he was out to impress
His men thought him lardy
Was kissed by old Hardy
In actual fact quite armless


Quote:
At Trafalgar in 1805
The battle raged wild and alive
While Nelson the bold
With our heroes untold
Saved the day, though some paid with their lives


Now I know for certain that someone on here could do better than that.

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D


Top
 Profile E-mail  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Apr 30, 2009 9:46 pm 
Offline
Site Admin

Joined: Sun Feb 17, 2008 11:06 am
Posts: 2830
Location: mid-Wales
Normally, I'd cobble together a bit of doggerel - but give me a day or two. I'm on granny duty and collapsing with exhaustion...... have just taken the mad-but-getting-better-rescue dog for his evening walk, having emptied chicken feed (thoughtfully placed there by Isabel) out of my wellies.

Now what rhymes with 'Horatio'?

_________________
Anna


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 01, 2009 7:49 am 
Offline
Site Admin

Joined: Sun Feb 17, 2008 11:06 am
Posts: 2830
Location: mid-Wales
Said Napoleon: 'The English are vile!'
And Admiral Nelson meanwhile
With no more ado
Saw off the French crew
When they met at the mouth of the Nile.

Said Boney:'Lord Nelson, though few,
You beat us. Your tactics are new.'
'AND we're quicker and slicker,'
Said this son of a vicar,
'And we fire three times faster than you!'

But Lord Nelson then said with a sigh,
'Beware, boys, when two ladies vie
O'er your charms. You will see
That you'll end up like me:
Half an arm and only one eye.'

Yet untroubled by scandal and strife,
He continued: 'I want a new life.'
When asked why that was,
He said,'It's because
Lady H. is more fun than my wife.'

'Just think about what she has got!
She's pretty and clever and hot.
Every tar wants his Nancy
To tickle his fancy.
Emma does it! And Fanny does not.'

_________________
Anna


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 01, 2009 10:12 am 
Offline

Joined: Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:40 pm
Posts: 1088
.
.

Huzzah!!


Image
.
.
.


Top
 Profile E-mail  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 01, 2009 3:43 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 12:01 am
Posts: 52
Location: Buffalo, New York USA
Three times three!


Top
 Profile E-mail  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 5 posts ] 

All times are UTC [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 107 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by p h p B B © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 p h p B B Group