Nelson & His World

I'm not an avid watcher of The One Show on BBC1 but I happened to see it tonight.

It seems they had been running a limerick competition on their website to coincide with the election of the new poet laureate.

The limerick ajudged to be in second place had a Nelson theme and went as follows:



I took a look on the website and at least another four Nelson limericks had been submitted.

Here goes - get ready to cringe!!









Now I know for certain that someone on here could do better than that.

Normally, I'd cobble together a bit of doggerel - but give me a day or two. I'm on granny duty and collapsing with exhaustion...... have just taken the mad-but-getting-better-rescue dog for his evening walk, having emptied chicken feed (thoughtfully placed there by Isabel) out of my wellies.

Now what rhymes with 'Horatio'?

Said Napoleon: 'The English are vile!'
And Admiral Nelson meanwhile
With no more ado
Saw off the French crew
When they met at the mouth of the Nile.

Said Boney:'Lord Nelson, though few,
You beat us. Your tactics are new.'
'AND we're quicker and slicker,'
Said this son of a vicar,
'And we fire three times faster than you!'

But Lord Nelson then said with a sigh,
'Beware, boys, when two ladies vie
O'er your charms. You will see
That you'll end up like me:
Half an arm and only one eye.'

Yet untroubled by scandal and strife,
He continued: 'I want a new life.'
When asked why that was,
He said,'It's because
Lady H. is more fun than my wife.'

'Just think about what she has got!
She's pretty and clever and hot.
Every tar wants his Nancy
To tickle his fancy.
Emma does it! And Fanny does not.'

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Huzzah!!



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Three times three!